Tonight, Not Again
by k13aquamarine
Summary: Simon reflects on his life after returning from Idris. Post-COG, just drabbles.


_This is a fic inspired by the song "Tonight, Not Again" by Jason Mraz. Post-COG, basically Simon reflecting back after he returns to New York. I do not own the Mortal Instruments series, those belong to Cassandra Clare, and I am not profiting in any way from them. Just drabblings for my own amusement and, hopefully, others'. Please enjoy!_

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**Tonight, Not Again**

Simon lay upon his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Clary was staying in Idris, for good, and he had to go back to Manhattan. Naturally.

He guessed he was okay with it. It was where she belonged; she had history there. But that still didn't change how empty he felt without the best friend that had been with him since the animal cracker days.

He closed his eyes and tried to picture her, something he had done countless times in the recent past. The image was worn and faded, like an old photograph that had lost its clarity after years of his staring at it and reminiscing. However vibrant her hair, however commanding her personality, it was Clary's eyes that stood out to him the most, a pair of emeralds shining against the dark of his eyelids.

Simon's mind went back to the night they had spent together at Luke's when she had tried to have a relationship with him. As he recalled, it was...nice. Was that the best adjective he had?

Luke's name hit him with a pang; the old werewolf was living in Idris, too. As were the Lightwoods. Everyone had abandoned him. He missed them all so much. He even missed Jace a little bit, despite the deep hatred he felt when the cocky bastard was around.

He was alone.

Except for Maia. As far as Simon knew, she was still living in New York, but he hadn't heard much from her. He resolved to make an effort to contact her next chance he got.

Despite the glum thoughts and the forlorn, "I'm alone again tonight. Not again," he felt alright. Kinda nice, actually.

In fact, he felt lovely.

Simon mentally smacked himself for thinking such a pansy statement.

And now he felt like an asshole for thinking the word "pansy".

The past few weeks (was it only that long?) had been stricken with panic and loss, but it had been the greatest adventure of his life and had changed him forever. In more ways than one. If asked to, he would most definitely do it again. And, if his life was anything like _Heroes_ (or _True Blood_, _Twilight_, what have you -- anything but _Buffy_), then once you become a part of a world that was more extraordinary than you could have imagined, there's no way you can avoid it. Chances were he'd see Clary and the rest of them soon enough.

He would be ready for them, too.

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_**Tonight, Not Again -- **_**Jason Mraz**

The night.  
She brushed her hands upon my flushed cheek  
Smelled of childhood remnants of a dusty weeping willow  
Clouds soothe, Shredded by the calico  
Were oh so vast and quick as I was on my own now.

This time like every other time I believe that I never find  
Another sweet little girl with sequined sea foam eyes  
Ocean lapping voice smile coy as the brightest quiet span of sky  
And I'm all alone again tonight not again, not again, not again.

And don't it feel allright. and don't it feel so nice. Lovely.

Still I'm unable to inhale all the riches  
As I'm awkward as a wound on my bones  
Still I've got cobblestone joints and plate glass points  
As I'm all by myself tonight not again not again

And don't it feel allright. and don't it feel so nice. Lovely.

Well if you should nervously break down  
When its time for the shakedown would you take it  
It's when you cry just a little but you laugh in the middle that you've made it  
And don't it feel allright. and don't it feel so nice.  
Lovely.

Say it again. Lovely. So lovely. to do it again  
Again. Loving again. It's coming again.  
Lovely.


End file.
